Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Storm Shelter
by WayWardWonderer
Summary: Mike Nelson, Tom Servo, Crow and Gypsy take shelter when a meteor shower strikes the Satellite of Love, and things go from bad to worse when the MST3k crew's oxygen supply is cut off. (A written account of a deleted segment from Mystery Science Theatre 3000: The Movie. The quality of the deleted scene isn't great so I may have misheard some of the dialogue.)


_'End Reel 3: All robots and be-jumpsuited humans must return to the theater in two minutes.'_

Mike, Crow and Tom had exited the theater and began walking down the hallway leading to and from the theater. Walking side by side by side, they passed through the six uniquely designed and numbered doors, discussing the train wreck of a movie they had been forced to watch in Dr. Forrester's latest experiment: _'This Island Earth'_.

Mike was mocking the voice of the films lead character. "Cal, Cal Meacham!"

Crow and Tom giggle bemused by the less than perfect impression. It was then Tom heard a strange noise echoing all through the ship. It sounded like golf balls bouncing off a tin roof.

"Da' Hell? Who's making popcorn?"

"I don't know Tom." Mike answered while looking around the lengthy corridor confused. "It sounds like a meteor shower!"

The ship suddenly began rocking back and forth sending the trio flailing about and finally falling to the ground in the hallway, the three were screaming in surprise. "Whoaa!" They toppled about onto the floor during the chaos.

Sure enough the Satellite of Love was caught up in an unexpected meteor shower. The ship was being pelted by the large space rocks in a ceaseless bombardment.

Crow looked around from he was still laying flat on his back on the ground. "Mike, did you hit the Hubble again?"

More meteors began crashing into the side of the ship. The large chunks of free flying rocks flew past the hexagon shaped window on the bridge confirming Mike's suspicions.

Gypsy was already monitoring the situation from the bridge. "Incoming!"

Mike and Tom joined her at the window and watched as the meteor shower rained down chaos onto the exterior of the satellite. Crow, now wearing a drill sergeant's helmet, blew into a loud shrill whistle draped around his slender neck. "Right! Everyone to the shelter! The hounds are pounding London again!"

On that note Mike grabbed ahold of Crow and lead the way to the satellite's emergency bunker. He sealed himself and the robots inside the heavily armored bunker and began noting the inventory of their emergency supplies contained within, taking a brief moment to gently pat Gypsy's nose. "How're you going Gypsy?" Mike was quietly muttering to himself as he checked the pre-stocked shelves and the simple gauge on the air supply valve.

Crow was playing a mournful tune on a harmonica while Tom found a large tin can of hash. "Ah! Finally a good excuse to eat hash!"

Mike kneeled down next Tom and Crow as he reassuringly put his hands on their shoulders. "Okay, now don't worry everybody. We're perfectly safe in here."

At that very moment another wave of meteor's struck the satellite sending everyone flying and damaging the interior of the bunker in the process. A larger metal support beam broke loose from the ceiling and blocked the emergency override button that controlled the oxygen supply. Several portions of the thick walls cracked and fell to the floor covering the four occupants in dust. During the carnage the shelves containing their supplies began collapsing one by one, sending cans and boxes flying in all directions!

In the midst of the chaos Tom dropped his can and cried out in anguish. "My hash!"

The lights in the ceiling flickered briefly and Gypsy began crying out in panic. "Oh! Oh the ship! Oooohhh!" She fell to the floor like everything and everyone else.

All loose objects in the bunker came to a rest as the meteor shower passed by. Mike, Tom, Crow and Gypsy sat in the middle of the room together, coughing from the stirred up dust in the air.

Mike put his hand on Crow's shoulder as he looked around the destroyed bunker and to his friends. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Crow answered a little shaky. "I'm fine. How about you?"

"I took a can of cling peaches to the breadbasket but I-"

From above the large pipe containing the main oxygen supply suddenly burst, sending a cloud of escaping air down on everyone in the room. They all let out a cry of surprised panic at their latest problem of the day.

Gypsy noticed the oxygen gauge on the wall beginning to drop in value and alerted everyone to the problem. "Mike! We're losing air! Fast!"

"So what?" Crow brashly responded. "Who needs air?"

Mike leaned down next to Crow's face. "_I_ do!"

As the air supply continued to rapidly deplete Mike pulled Crow and Tom in close to him as he tried to issue out a plan of action. "Listen up you guys..." He was panting for his breath already. "We gotta' get the air back, so that I can..." He paused momentarily as the lack of oxygen began to hinder his train of thought. "...go to Grandma's house!"

Tom and Crow began snickering at Mike's confusion and mounting delirium.

"She's really nice." Mike continued. "She smells like feet but she makes the best pastrami!" Mike let go of Tom and Crow. "Excuse me." He fell backward, laying on his back with his head and shoulders propped up on the pile of fallen emergency supplies that littered the floor.

Tom and Crow leaned over Mike as he began lightly giggling in his state of euphoric delirium.

Gypsy was hovering over the trio watching as Mike began to fall victim to asphyxiation. "He's a mess."

Tom leaned closer to Mike's paling face and watched as Mike's chest began to rapidly rise and fall as he struggled to catch his escaping breath. "Oh great! Now what do we do?"

Crow leaned closer to Mike as well as he offered his less than helpful suggestion. "PAANIC!"

Together Tom and Crow began screaming in panic and confusion while Mike began randomly muttering to himself. "...I'm feeling better..." The vacancy in his blue told a different story.

Gypsy struggled to take control of the bizarre situation at hand while Crow continued panicking and Tom began weeping. "Everything will be okay, Gypsy's here." She looked over to her robot companions. "Listen Servo! We have to resuscitate Mike!"

Tom, with his hands covering eyes, ignored Gypsy and continued weeping. "I'll never see my turtle again!"

"Oh, great..." Gypsy realized that Tom wasn't go to be of help. "Crow!"

"Ah!" Crow perked up at the sound of Gypsy's authoritative tone.

"Activate the bypass!"

"Roger!" Crow took off like a shot to the location of the emergency bypass button, only to see it buried behind the fallen support beam. "Oh, perfect! Just what I need; ten tons of molybdenum!"

Gypsy watched in silence as Tom continued weeping and Mike's ramblings became more unusual as the lack of oxygen began affecting him further. "...I pledge allegiance... to the flag..."

Crow put his slender but strong arms under the fallen beam and used all his strength to lift it up. He let out little grunts of strain as the heft of the beam began to affect his grip.

The air supply continued to drop.

Mike stared at the ceiling as the asphyxia began taking its toll. "...Daisy, Daisy..."

Using all the strength he could muster Crow successfully lifted the beam up and away from the button. "Servo! Get over here and push this button!"

Tom was still crying into his hands and didn't respond to Crow.

Crow watched a bolt from a hinge in his arm came loose and popped out. "Oh no, that's not good!" He looked over toward Tom, pleading. "Anytime Servo!"

Gypsy resumed he role as leader. "Servo! Mike is going to _die_!"

"Of course!" This is all Tom needed to come to his senses. "What was I thinking? Mike! I'm coming!" Powering up his hover skirt Tom launched himself toward the wall at full speed. "Aaaaaargh!" He smashed the top of his dome into the button.

As the button was finally pressed just as Crow lost his grip on the support beam, dropping the cumbersome obstacle onto himself and Tom as they fell to the floor next to each other. They let out little moans of pain from beneath the beam.

The gauge on the wall confirmed the returning oxygen.

As the fresh air filled the room Gypsy managed to pull Mike's now unconscious body upright into a sitting position on the floor. She leaned over Mike's head. "And now, sweet Mike, the breath of life." She leaned down and gently put her whole mouth over his head.

Coughing, Crow and Tom easily unburied themselves from the fallen debris and watched as Gypsy tended to Mike.

Within a few seconds Mike had regained consciousness, he put his hands up toward Gypsy's head as he began coughing and taking in his long needed breath of oxygen. "Gypsy? Why is my head in your mouth?" He gently pushed her back.

Gypsy began innocently laughing to herself as Tom and Crow rejoined Mike at his side.

"Hey guys, thanks." Mike sincerely thanked the robots for their hard work.

"Well," Tom arrogantly replied. "it was pretty much me, Mike, who saved ya'."

Crow disagreed. "Servo, you cried like Oksana Beyale!"

"I never-"

"You did too!"

Mike held up his hand and shushed the robots. "Wait, listen."

Gypsy heard it too. "The storm, it passed!"

Mike got to his feet and opened the door to the bunker. In shone a bright ray of sunlight accompanied by the lovely singing of wild birds.

Gypsy was particularly moved by the beauty. "Oh! My stars..."

The four exited the bunker and looked out the window on the bridge. The sky was clear at last.

"It's beautiful!" Gypsy continued.

Mike shared his gratitude. "What would I do without you guys?"

Dr. Forrester's angry face appeared as a projection on the window. "You'd _still_ be my test subject!"

Mike and the bots all flinched at Dr. Forrester's sudden appearance.

"Now," Dr. Forrester continued. "if you're done clowning around get back in the theater and watch the rest of _'This Island Earth'_!"

Without protest Mike, Crow and Tom promptly left the bridge and returned to the theater as they were instructed.

**-The End**


End file.
